Mourning

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I come to you this evening bearing terrible news. The Xbox which I had been borrowing from my friend Tom is, well, dead. I suspect there may have been foul play, as it suddenly was broken after I had been gone for two nights, and the evidence points to a party that apparently happened here, or at least some general slobbery (which usually occurs sin respect for personal property of others).
I haven't come here (suprisingly) to point fingers or hurl accusations, or even insults. I just want to express how sad it makes me that Forza motorsport can no longer be a part of my life.
You see, the Bronx sucks. I've been counting down the days till I can leave, and the hours that I could waste playing Forza (a free, healthy pastime) did a little bit to improve my time here. Of course, some drunk jackass had to kick the Xbox because I'm not allowed to be happy. Hyperbole, and hearsay, but i'm sad.
I miss my stable of virtual cars: the yellow Subaru 22B, the dark silver Ferrari F430, two STi's, and a small collection of Porsche 911's. They're all gone now.
Speaking of things that are gone, my wallet has also dissapeared. And I mean straight vanished into thin air and is no goddamn where. Thats the whole story, there was no wild party where I lost my pants, no debaucherous irresponsible frenzy. In fact, all I did that day was go to class and go to Taco Bell. Perhaps I was irresponsible at the Taco Bell, wolfing down a Crunchwrap Supreme and a Cheesey Gordita Crunch washed down with their special brand of Mountain Dew in a manner that was totally disrespectful to my digestive tract, but damn it: it was delicious.
I planned to talk a little bit about the Volkswagen CC. I first ran across one sitting in parking lot in East Hampton, and it actually made me stop and look at it for almost a minute. On the outside, it looks good. When I went to VW's website to acquire pictures I found that, well, it looks good in black, mostly. I can't reccommend this car though, because I haven't gotten to know it well enough. The red Ferrari 360 Spyder I saw in East Hampton the next morning, though, I can endorse with no such qualms.

Improving the World Through Criticism

I'll try to keep it short because I have things I should be doing, like practicing accounting problems.
Have you ever looked at an accounting textbook? Whenever I try to read a sentence my eyes cross. I think the problem is that it was written by accountants. Even when they try to be interesting and edgy, they are so boring that I want to hurt myself. Yeah the paragraph begins with "Morrow Snowboards, inc" so its got to be captivating and extreme right? Sorry fuckers, you lost me at "financial statements". Nothing is cool about a 10K form.



There's more proof everyday that the majority of people are fucking idiots. Take for example the new 2010 Kia Forte Koup. (link for the lazy) Its like a late model Civic and a new Camaro had a lovechild. And you know what? I don't care. I can't get worked up over every shitty econocar that is peddled to people who dont care about vehicle quality, performance, looks or ever getting laid again. What pisses me off is the fact they spelled Coupe with a "K"and an "oup". It hurts my brain, but what hurts more is that it probably didn't hurt the brains of millions of other people.

Oh and the rear bumper painted black to look like a diffuser. Sweet Kia. Did you paint a picture of a real engine under the hood too?

Sometimes I look around and think this can't be real life. My fellow man is far too stupid, far too base, far too ignorant to justify any form of Humanism. Then I get a bitter taste in my mouth thinking about all the pretentious self-righteous assholes there are. I guess I fall in the latter camp, but I'd rather be an asshole than ignorant.
It's all a lot to deal with.

Porsche Perfected

If there's one thing in the world I love, its my wonderful girlfriend. (beauty, brains, personality: check) If there are two things, well they would be her and the classic Porsche 911. It's rash and crude to compare women to cars, so I'll keep it to a minimum. Watching an air-cooled Porsche 911 drive down the street, you'll notice that men whip their heads around to stare. The same phenomenon occurs when she (yes, her) walks down the street. The identical salivation and awkward staring leaves me less than inclined to leave either unattended.
Before I put my foot in my mouth, and offend some of you dear readers, I think I'll turn my attention to a remarkable car that has appeared among the sorts of websites my fellow car nerds and I peruse: the Singer 911.
Autoblog tells you that its based on an 80's 911, with full carbon bodywork yadda yadda.
Horsepower, torque, suspension.

Leave that aside, just look at it. It screams classic 911 while simultaneously screaming by you on the highway. Imagine a car with modern performance (0 to 60: 3.9s) that oozes class the way this does.
This is a Porsche lovers Porsche.
I want one.


And one more gratuitous shot I'll leave for you to drool over. As for the girl, well she's mine to drool over. Get your own.